Healing Machine for Lillie: For a lifetime of sexual and emotional trauma that you know is actually irrelevant in the big scheme of things
You will need a vial of sweat from the armpit of your lover, which you can collect by encouraging him to perform aerobic exercise. Sprinkle the sweat on the foot of the Catskills where you live among the deer and ponies and tomato plants. When you sprinkle it, a wonderful something will begin to shoot forth from the soil of the foot. Come back on a night when the moon is full to bursting. Bring snacks. You will find that the big toenail of the Catskills has grown curly and impossibly long, and has bored into the neighboring mountain like a drill bit.
Walk into the hole, stepping on soil, toenail, soil, toenail, soil. It will not take long for you to find yourself in total darkness and silence. After a while, you will be able to hear the worms in the walls. There will be darkness behind you and darkness ahead. You will be brave. You will keep walking. You will hear the whispers of tree roots, the prayers of the dead, the hopes and fears of pillbugs and fossils and stones. You will feel the rotation of the earth with you inside it. You will be afraid, and when you are afraid, you will say: "I was born with the gift of seeing every crack of light in this stupid darkness." You will feel like you are drowning in a pit of bones, and you will say the words again. You will realize the road has no end, and you will say the words again.